Hello, music fans! Jon is back, and he’s ready to accept your challenge to come up with a brand new Friday Flash Review!
You all know the drill:
I randomly select a genre, category, or some other musical common denominator for you all to think on… and then Jon will talk about the song that you choose.
OK, so what’s up for this Friday?
Well… after all…’tis the season for warmth!
Goodwill toward women and men!
Peace On Earth, yada yada yada…
So, how about we go with-“
Telegraph much? Like we don’t see this coming a mile away?
Thanks, Gary and Goodboy, for the vote of um… confidence. As I was saying, let’s give Jon something fun for the holidays: It’s:
“Your Most Reviled – Yet Incessantly Recurring Christmas Song!“
And so we have a category!
In the comments below: nominate ONE favorite that you’d like to see in the next Flash Review. Definitely chat and reply with each other about the choices, but remember:
The comment with the most upvotes gets the nod for Jon’s FFR!
B.Y.O.E.N., and come see what Jon has ready on Friday, December 22!
Let the author know that you liked their article with a “Green Thumb” Upvote!
Thank You For Your Vote!
Sorry You have Already Voted!
Holiday administrative note: Due to holiday travel demands, we’ll be closing down the voting Tuesday at 8PM ET.
There’s a clear winner emerging as of Monday at 2PM ET. If you’d like to change the outcome, only 1.5 days left of voting!
This may or may not constitute part of the recently mentioned not-niceness towards Paul McCartney, but…
“Wonderful Christmastime!”
As much as I like Paul, it’s not one of his best. Though I couldn’t bring myself to call it ‘reviled’. Unnecessary is the word I would use.
How about “unnecessarily ubiquitous?”
You read that correctly. At some point during writing that article, I talked myself out of specifying “…your least favorite Christmas song…” since there are other McCartney songs that are roundly disliked.
Am I a bad person for really liking that song? It has a charm that I can’t explain.
Unexplained charm, eh?
*heads to the shelf to consult the Malleus Maleficarum*
Who doesn’t love a good Medieval witch hunter reference?
I reviewed the transcripts.
You, @blu_cheez , have never been a bad person at any point in your life.
Equally irritating: the flip side, ‘Rudolph the Red-nosed Reggae.’
There’s been plenty of truly terrible Christmas songs this side of the ocean but such is their novelty and Britishness they haven’t travelled well outside these shores. I’d be hard pressed to narrow it down to one, plus they’re generally so bad they don’t get any repeat play. The last 5 years of LadBaby repeating the same joke is evidence of that. But hey, it was all for charity so hopefully their efforts did some good. Sure wasn’t good for my ears.
Going with one that everyone should know; The Jackson 5 version of I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus.
I can’t imagine that even the most ardent Michael Jackson fan doesn’t do a world class cringe when he gets to the part
and says “I did! I did! I did see mommy kissing Santa Claus! And I’m gonna tell my daddy.”
Oof.
So reviled AND recurring? That means it can’t be something like Max Headroom’s “Merry Christmas Santa Claus (You’re A Lovely Guy)“ because it doesn’t recur anymore.
I’m going to have to go with “The Chipmunks Song (Christmas Don’t Be Late.)” I heard it on the car radio today and, well, I guess I’m not six and a half anymore.
“The Christmas Shoes” and it’s not close. Although, if the Singing Dogs “Jingle Bells” was still commonly recurrent it would be a tough call.
I second “The Christmas Shoes.” Astoundingly bad. Accomplishing its mission within the first 30 seconds. And then, it gets logarithmically worse when the little kid coda kicks in.
And here’s how weird I am: one time each holiday season, I force myself to listen to the whole thing, so I can truly revel in its awfulness. I think of it as sort of a Yuletide penance.
I know. I really do need help.
“The Christmas Shoes” is the worst. The whole subtext that God kills this little boy’s mother so that the singer can recover his Christmas spirit is disgusting. Last year I put together a poll of favorite Christmas songs (with a ton of help from MT), and I specified that this one would not be considered. Because it was my poll and yuck.
I don’t think that I’ve ever heard this song before, but by reading your opinions it seems like it’s something awful.
In my country there’s not a song, but a whole album released in the mid 80’s that everybody is fed up with, and is still played everywhere.
I don’t think I was even aware of “The Christmas Shoes” until I saw the Saturday Night Live sketch “The Christmas Socks” (with Paul Rudd) and wondered what the heck they were parodying. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TqBMbyyxGng
Hey, @Knocko the Monk ! Good welcome to you!
I suspect there are shadowy forces pulling strings in the background, and they’ve decided that “Last Christmas” is going to be the successor to Mariah’s “All I Want for Christmas…”, which is going to be a raw deal for me. Not only do I have a high tolerance for Mariah Carey, but I’ve managed to insulate myself from most holiday music for the last decade, so I haven’t really heard that song enough to be sick of it.
And it’s not that I dislike George Michael’s singing in general. But his ultra-breathy delivery on “Last Christmas” sends it towards nails-on-a-chalkboard territory for me. Maybe it’s me, but the song seems to be around more this year than it was last year…
I’m OK with most of the recurrent Christmas hits nowadays since the novelty ones have gotten much less airplay and sales, at least going by the Billboard charts. Having said that, there is one that grates on me heavily. Why does Michael Buble’s wan version of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” get about the same attention as the much better versions by Bing Crosby and Perry Como? Every time I hear it, I feel like someone just woke Michael up in the booth and told him he had only one take to do it, and the result has somehow become a Christmas standard.
Anyway, that’s my nominee for this upcoming review.
I’m not upthumbing this because I don’t want to skew the votes; I have another preference.
But I’m completely with you on Michael Bublé’s soporific performance. To quote Chuck:
Yuck.
OK, there’s lots of good suggestions here, but there is an obvious one for me. The version of Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” where the lyrics have been changed to a Christmas theme. There are not a lot of songs that I dislike more than “Hallelujah”, but then to muck up my Christmas listening by wedging it in there is just offensive. Of course, part of my offense is just my inability to understand how passionate some are about liking that song. I’m sure I will never understand how. I don’t expect my nomination to win, but I would be remiss if I didn’t throw it in the ring. (In its defense…it’s lyrics are nice.)
Can you provide a link to this? I’ve never heard it.
Begone, “Santa Baby” — specifically Madonna’s version!
I love 99% of Christmas tunes so I will nominate one of my favourites, ‘It’s Cliched to Be Cynical at Christmas’ by Half Man Half Biscuit, because it absolutely nails the sort of arch miser that pops up everywhere this time of year
At this point Mariah needs to be taken down several pegs. It might be a good exercise to look at every song that was able to make the Billboard Hot 100 (most of which have done so every year since the chart rules were adjusted) and suggest a song instead of that one to chart so some of the holiday wealth can be spread around. Is our future really hearing AI choose Brenda Lee for the rest of our lives before any other Christmas song ever gets a chance?
Hey, @danielwbrody ! Good welcome to you!
Here’s every song that’s reached the Holiday Chart, which started in 2012
I more had the Christmas songs that chart on the Hot 100 in mind, but even this list feels very narrow to me considering all the possibilities that are out there when it comes to potential holiday music. There’s a default to crooners both new and old that feels really constricting and crowds out rock, soul, hip-hop, funk, jazz, country and other genres that might add a little more variety and spunk to hearing Bing, Nat, Frank and Buble’s wholesome and tasteful wares for the zillionth time.
Anybody’s ‘Away in a Manger.’ Too precious by half, mewlingly reverential, not a banger. If I had to choose someone’s, then it’s Carrie Underwood’s, I guess.
Just driving by looking for an excuse to name drop Bitchin’ Burl Ives and make sure he’s NOT mentioned for this ‘honor’ …..
Cuz he’s Bitchin Burl Ives. ‘Nuff said.