Remembering 50 Years Ago… It’s The Hottest Hits Of Early 1974!

Hottest Hit On The Planet!: “The Joker” by Steve Miller Band

It’s Steve Miller!

• AKA The Space Cowboy!
• AKA The Gangster Of Love!

It’s probably just me. But that wolf whistling bothers me. Not necessarily because I’m against wolf whistling per se – it was 1974, it was a different time, etc…

(Although I do think we need to re-evaluate “Oh, Pretty Woman” and understand that Roy was basically being a sex pest, but that’s another issue to tackle on another day…)

But because: why is Steve wolf whistling right at that moment? Right after he calls himself “Maurice”? It makes it sound as though Steve is wolf whistling at himself! Or wolf-whistling at Maurice. Who we have established, is himself!!!

I mean, who does that?

There are plenty of other parts of the song where a wolf whistle might be – at least by the low standards of wolf-whistling – appropriate:

“You’re the cutest thing that I ever did see
I really love your peaches
Wanna shake your tree”

Some Random Maurice / Gangster / Space Cowboy Guy

A totally appropriate – or at least not totally irrational – time to wolf-whistle.

Is wolf whistling what it sounds like when you speak of the Pompatus Of Love? Impossible to say really, given that “pompatus” is not a real word!

The time has come for a deep dive down the rabbit hole that is the origin story of the Pompatus Of Love.

The story is basically this: Steve misheard a lyric from an old doo-wop song called “The Letter” by The Medallions (no relation to “The Letter” by The Box Tops), and the word in question was “puppetutes.”

It will not surprise you to learn that “puppetutes” is also not a real word!!!

The Medallions were big on made-up words. And not only in the ‘shoo-be-do-wop’ sections, where most doo-wop groups put their made-up nonsense words. They also inserted made-up nonsense words into their sincere spoken word passages.

The relevant sincere spoken word passage of “The Letter” states:

“Oh my darling, let me whisper
sweet words of pizmotality
and discuss the puppetutes of love.”

Pizmotality? Puppetutes? That’s two made-up nonsense words with a second of each other!! Who does that?!?

Now, it is well known – or at least Stereogum Author Tom Briehan wrote about it – that the first verse of “The Joker” is just a bunch of references to old Steve Miller songs.

But it goes further. Because the ‘Maurice’ song that “The Joker” references – “Enter Maurice” – Steve quotes, (or misquotes) the Medallions’ song as well. Steve must really love that Medallions song.

You’d think then, since Steve loves “The Letter” so much, that he’d get the lyrics right. But he does not. In addition to mispronouncing “puppetutes” in “Enter Maurice”, Steve also pronounces “pizmotality” as “epismetology.” But I guess it doesn’t matter. I mean, it’s not as though the word actually exists!

Given that “pompatus” – or “puppetutes” – is a made-up word – and given that “The Letter” wasn’t exactly a major hit – a lot of time, effort and resources have been spent by academics:

Professor Liberman has put forward the controversial theory that “puppetutes” is a combination of “puppet” and “prostitute,” and that Vernon Green – the coiner of the phrase – was a teenage boy who thought that “prostitute” just meant an attractive woman.

Hmmm.

“The Joker” is a 7.

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Meanwhile in Bowie Land:

Bowie was going through a busy phase. Bowie’s entire career was a busy phase, but 1973 was particularly packed.

In the space of about a year, he’d killed off Ziggy Stardust, created “Aladdin Sane” – who, other than having a lightning bolt painted on his face, never really received much by way of character development – and tried to make a TV movie adaptation of George Orwell’s 1984. 

“Halloween Jack” came from “Hunger City.” His defining feature was that he wore an eye-patch. This of course made Bowie lose his depth perception. He was constantly bumping into doors.

The song that “Halloween Jack” is mostly associated with – largely because Bowie is dressed as him in the video – is “Rebel Rebel,” a song that would not have made any sense in a TV adaptation of 1984, at least not from what I remember of it from high school.

In the dystopian nightmare of “Rebel Rebel” – a song that sounds way too much fun to possibly co-exist with a dystopian nightmare – your mother is in a whirl, because she’s not sure if you’re a boy or a girl.

Are you a boy or a girl? Bowie refuses to say!! Does Bowie even know? All we can say for sure is that you love dancing – to bands, when they play it hard! – you look div-ine – even when you’ve torn your dress, and your face is a mess!

The big hit from “Aladdin Sane” – “Jean Genie” – had been about an Iggy-Pop-type. But not, we are assured, Iggy Pop himself (it’s a 9).

This may defy all the known laws of the universe, but “Rebel Rebel” sounds like an even bigger and even more exciting party animal than “Jean Genie!” Out-partying Iggy Pop (sorry, “an-Iggy-Pop-type”), that’s got to be some kind of juvenile success!!!

“Rebel Rebel” is a 9.

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Meanwhile in Babs Land:

In which Babs tells us that “memories light the corners of (her) mind.” I’ve spent most of my life thinking – on those rare occasions that I think of this song, that “The Way We Were” was called “Memories”, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.

So, I watched The Way We Were. The movie. The tale of Babs and Robert Redford and their convoluted decades long relationship. I now have a whole new appreciation for Babs’ face-acting. 

I mean, they spend most of the movie arguing! Sometimes about FDR. Sometimes about Franco. But mostly about Robert Redford’s terrible – and they are terrible! – friends.

Later she works her way up to working at a radio station as part of the war effort – since the bulk of the movie takes place during World War Two – when she bumps into Robert who has become some sort of Naval officer, although since he seems to spend all his time in New York and Washington it’s doubtful he saw a moment of action.

Maybe that’s unfair. When awoken by a shrieking kettle in the middle of the night – Babs is brewing him some coffee – he does cry out “General’s Quarter! General’s Quarter!! Countdown!!!”, which feels like the kind of thing you’d cry out in the middle of the night if you were suffering from post-traumatic stress.

• Then he and Babs make out.
• Then he falls asleep.
• Whilst making out with Babs. Trapping Babs underneath him. Somehow she escapes.

But then, Babs does sing: “what’s too painful to remember, we just choose to for-geeettttt.” Which, in the case of The Way We Were the movie, is virtually every scene. “So it’s the laught-er that we re-mem-ber, when when ever we re-mem-ber, the way… we… weeerrreee.”

“The Way We Were” is a song about the lies we tell ourselves, so that we can have happy memories.

But it’s still a pretty song. It’s a 7.

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Meanwhile in Sexy Soul Land:

“Love’s Theme” was not the theme song to a television show called Love. Nor the theme song to a movie called Love.

This surprises me, since “Love’s Theme” sounds like every TV theme song that I dimly remember from my childhood. I choose to believe that without “Love’s Theme” there would never have been a  “Love Boat Theme.” And thus, perhaps, no Love Boat! I don’t want to imagine a world without Love Boat!

Just to be clear, that video was a compilation. There was sadly no episode of “Love Boat” that featured Michael J .Fox, Tony Danza, Heather Locklear, Tori Spelling, Hulk Hogan, The Village People, The Harlem Globetrotters, Courtney Cox, Janet Jackson, Joan Collins and Leslie Neilsen all in the one show! Imagine though how amazing that episode would be!!

Love Unlimited Orchestra was the backing band for sexy girl-group Love Unlimited. But without Love Unlimited. Love Unlimited were the girl-group for Barry White – complete with sexy Barry White-esque monologues – but with no Barry White. Unless of course, Love Unlimited gave him a call in the middle of their song.

So we effectively have a Love Unlimited record with no Love Unlimited, a Barry White record with zero Barry White – zero Barry White vocals anyway – and yet it is still 100% Barry White. It’s still 100% smooth, 100% sexy, 100% a record that no bachelor pad can be without.

“Love’s Theme” is an 8.

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Meanwhile in Glam Land:

For decades, if you wanted to find the cheesiest of British rock music, there was only one place to go: Rak Records, the record label started up by Mickie Most, with the money he made from producing the chirpy cheese-fest of Herman’s Hermit’s “I’m Into Something Good,” Donovan’s “Mellow Yellow” – far cheesier than a Dylan wannabe should ever be – and incredibly, just for something different, The Animals’ “House Of The Rising Sun.”

One of these things is not like the other.

Rak Records ruled the 70s.

Particularly when Mike Chapman arrived from Australia to churn out a seemingly endless supply of glam-rock stompers for a whole bunch of bands, including two glam-rock Christmas songs, both of which became UK Christmas Number Ones! Back-to-back, two years in a row!!

To have your glam rock party stomper become a great big hit, you don’t just need a novel hook, you need a novel look. In the case of Mud, we have:

And that song, remember, is a song called “Tiger Feet.” A song title so dumb that Mickie Most decided to release it as a single without even listening to it, safe in the knowledge that it was impossible for a song with a title that dumb not to be a great big hit! Which, indeed, it was!!

“Tiger Feet” is a 7.

What a crazy time it was to be alive!

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