Rhythm Is The Power

Once upon a time…

There was a little girl…

who was just as happy with her Star Wars toys, Lincoln Logs, Erector Set, train set, and digging in the dirt as she was with her Barbies. (Along with the portable wardrobe case for the various dolls.)

She loved having long hair, hated dresses, and loved playing various sports with other kids. She could always count on her best feline buddy to accompany her on her jaunts, exploring the woods around where she lived. She had a best friend in school who was already a serial dater by first grade. She’d just roll her eyes, well aware from an early age: that drama was just a mess best avoided.

That’s not to say that she had a ‘boys are icky’ approach. She had fleeting crushes with fellow boys every now and then, due to her friend’s ‘boys are totally cute’ approach to life as a seven-year-old.

And she didn’t quite understand it at the time. Because she was all of three years old. But she definitely had a thing for Han Solo when she first saw Star Wars.

Not Harrison Ford.
Not Indiana Jones.
ONLY Han Solo.

But in the grand scheme of things, these were very minor distractions for – surprise – yours truly, BabyDutch.

I had discovered music, and I was trying my best to be as immersed and knowledgeable as I possibly could, studying up feverishly as I was absorbing American history, Presidential Trivia, and baseball history when I was that age.

Mom hardly ever turned the radio on in the car. But if it was Dad, it was the ‘Dad Rock’ stations, with those Dad Rock artists like Pink Floyd, The Rolling Stones, Led Zeppelin, The Who, etc. If my parents owned albums by any of these people, that was the only way I knew what they looked like.

So by the time fourth grade rolled around in late 1983, I remember another friend of mine suddenly going on about this group she was totally obsessed with. And that she wouldn’t stop talking about:

Duran Duran.

I had heard of them, and liked some of their songs that my Dad would turn up, whenever they came on his Dad Rock station. It wasn’t until I read the 33 1/3 book about the Rio album last year that I learned why I had always associated Duran with Dad Rock. Back then, Capitol wasn’t quite sure how to market the band.

So they pushed for them to get played on the Rock Stations in the early 80s.

I thought it weird that my friend was into a Dad Rock group. It was the equivalent of her saying she loved The Beatles, or something. “They’re, like, old.”

I had absolutely no clue who this band was or what they looked like. I just knew that their music was this exotic cool blend of rock and disco, totally unlike any of the other Dad Rock songs.

It was all of the grooves that I was into at that age: all rolled up into a singular entity, wrapped up in a crazy-sounding synthetic soundscape.

On a particular day in fourth grade, in the middle of winter when it was a dreary, cold and dank outside, we had an indoor recess. My friend had excitedly told several of us that she’d brought in a bunch of her Duran Duran items, so we could take a look later. A group of maybe six of us sat in the back of the classroom during recess, and my friend started pulling teen mags, albums, pins, buttons, and all that fantabulous 80’s Duran marketing overkill out of this box of hers.

I happened to grab the Seven and the Ragged Tiger album, and literally my mouth dropped. I looked at her and said, “This is Duran Duran???”

She just nodded and grinned. Nothing at all what I expected them to be. I had imagined they were all old rockers that were schlubs and didn’t care how they looked. And instead? I get five ridiculously stylish young guys, with perfect hair, perfect clothes, exuding sophisticated awesomeness – AND WITH A TIGER!!!! It was the coolest image I’d ever seen up to that point. Everything about that picture just oozed sophistication, cool, exotic: these guys existed in a totally different world from me.

I was soooo in.

So I’m sitting there, trying to imagine Rio and Hungry Like the Wolf having come from this group. It was pretty mind-blowing to me that these faces – that I could now put to the music – were not at all what I had expected.

And I really liked being surprised like that.

I’m taking in the album cover, and one guy in particular catches my eye. It was obvious that he was a musician first, and this “posing stuff” was just work he had to endure. So I pointed to him on the cover and ask my friend who he was.

“That’s Roger, the drummer.”

And helllloooo: BabyDutch’s first celebrity crush, Roger Taylor.

He was mesmerizing to me; somehow I could tell he wasn’t a poser or egomaniac, he was just brooding in the background, wanting to do his thing, totally grounded in his personality. (Not surprising to have found out years later how he grew up obsessed with James Dean.)

All of this happened right around the time our family got our first VCR. Mom always recorded NBC’s Friday Late Night lineup of Carson, and then Letterman. Since we’d just let the tape run through, we picked up the show that aired after Late Night with David Letterman at 1:30 AM:

Friday Night Videos.

This immediately became Must Watch TV for BabyDutch, as it was the only way I could see videos. New Moon on Monday happened to be their most recent single to hit the charts, so my first real introduction to the band was via that video.

Which is why New Moon on Monday will always, always, always hold a special place in my heart – that’s where it all began, way back in early 1984, when I was all of nine years old.

Of course, by the time I really started becoming more obsessed with music, Duran had their identity crisis in 1985 – the Arcadia side wanting Roger, but the Power Station side wanting him to complement Tony Thompson as well. And he basically said, ‘I need a break from this madness, I can’t keep doing this’, and runs off with his young family to the Oxfordshire countryside. Winds up staying there for 15 years!

So now my crush is gone from my band.

Now what?

(Don’t worry youngling Dutch, a certain George Michael will blow your mind in about a year, be patient…)

I wound up moving on to John Taylor as my favorite in the band, but I’d always tell folks it was really Roger who was my favorite. And I freaked when Roger happened to pop up on their 1995 Thank You album (the drumming he does on Watching the Detectives is just too yummy.) I kept hoping he might come back someday.

But despite my guy being AWOL from the band, I remained in lockstep with Duran through the 80s, remaining just as devoted even during the late 90s period, which Nick Rhodes has called ‘Duran’s most irresponsible time frame because they lost all three Taylors.”

They were my band; they were literally the soundtrack to just about my entire life. And as long as Nick and Simon were still committed to Duran:

I’d be right there with them.

Mr.Dutch and I had only been together for a year when they announced that all of the Unrelated Taylors were returning to the mothership, and the original Fab 5 were getting back together in 2001. I remember my stepson looking on in total bemusement when I received my signed Astronaut CD that I’d won via the DD Fan Club. I’m standing in the kitchen opening the CD and going – “No, you don’t understand, ROGER TOUCHED THIS!!!!” because it was absolutely NOT my normal monotone attitude towards life. Mr.Dutch just found the whole Roger Thing funny, because it was one of the few times I’d ever get so animated.

When their reunion tour finally came to Florida in 2005, he offered to go with me. He then spent the entire concert seemingly terrified of the alien that had invaded my body, and was screaming how Roger was a ‘hot ass mofo drumming bastard’ for 2 hours. He was equally weirded out at all of the women coming down the aisle to stand at the railing next to him, screaming and crying that they loved John and/or Simon, and pretending to rip their clothes off.

Some of the female fans even tried to get him to stand up and dance with them, before the ushers came to chase them out of the aisle. His first girlfriend was a Duranie back in the day. But this was not at all what he had expected.

But I know that he found it all highly amusing.

Over the years that we’ve been together, Mr.Dutch has been happy to play along with the fun. I had a habit of naming my cars before we got together, which he loved. We subsequently named all of our new cars all girl’s names. But when we got our pickup truck, the first thing he said when we got the keys was, “A pickup needs a boys name. I think this guy should be “Roger.”

I know, right??!! Awwwww.

Later when I got my little Mazda MX5, he became “Roger Jr.” When we got our beefy John Deere riding mower a few years back, Mr.Dutch was like… “might as well name him Roger III, since you enjoy riding it so much.”

He’s encouraged me over the years to make a sign for Duran concerts. To which I always said “no” to, because I hated the thought of being one of ‘those’ bonkers fans, lol. Last year, he asked what I wanted for Christmas. I said the thing I’d love the most is to be able to snag some primo seats to Duran’s next concert. This was before they had even announced a US tour for 2022. I’d never gone all-in on a high end ticket package before, and I wanted to do it just once in my life.

So he was like, “OK, go for it.” Trust me, I was really relieved that they did announce a 2022 tour, and DC was one of their 15 stops – thank God! I managed to score some front row seats; not stage front, but a slight angle off Stage Right, where I’ll have plenty of room to dance in the aisle. Like a dope.

I’ve never been this close to the stage since Roger returned to the band, so I started thinking. “I’m gonna totally try for a drumstick. I have to get a drumstick that Roger used during the show. How should I go about this? Well, I’m actually going to be right up front…. let’s do something catchy.

On a T-shirt.

I asked Mr.Dutch what he thought I should have on the t-shirt. His reply?

“Roger, I’ve dreamed about your drumstick my entire life.”

tnocs.com contributor by proxy Mr.DUTCHg8r

After I finally stopped laughing, I told him that I was trying to avoid going down… that route… pausing to find the right words to say.

“What? Trampy?! Well… you do what you want. But let the record show:”

“I was gonna give you this one pass”

tnocs.com eternal good sport by proxy Mr.DUTCHg8r

Mr. Dutch. Is. The. Bestest.

I had another idea kicking around in my head, but I didn’t have the ability to do the graphics that I was thinking of. Who do I know who’s a graphics whiz??? Hmm…

“mt, would you be able to help me out with something?!”

And our ever-so-gracious tnocs.com host didn’t even hesitate. “Sure, what are you thinking of? I’ll see what I can put together for you.” And Squeeeeeeeee!! went inner BabyDuranieDutch. “I want something cool.

And to not look like I’m a desperate The Price Is Right contestant…”

I submitted the final design to one of those custom t-shirt websites, and it just arrived today:

I’m declaring my loyalty to Team Roger on the front (that’s his figurine that FunkoPop did of the band, a couple years ago), with the back of the shirt proclaiming how the John Taylor/Roger Taylor rhythm section is The Ultimate Shizzle… putting my own spin on the I Don’t Want Your Love lyrics in the process.

Many thanks to mt58 for nailing the debut album Duran font style!!

So away we go.

Merriweather Post Pavilion.
Suburban DC.
August 23^rd.

(Will our heroine be successful in her efforts to get the rhythmic Taylor Boys to notice her?)

stay tuned…

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