The Next Best Thing: The Billboard Hot 100 Number Two’s Countdown… #100-51

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And… we’re back!

When we last left off, we’d made it all the way up to Number 101!

And as promised:

Here’s #100-51, from the (sadly defunct as of September 21, 2023) #2 countdown channel on SiriusXM… and my thoughts on many of them.

100. “Louie Louie” The Kingsmen (1963)

It seems fitting that the reason so many people formed garage bands is the entryway to the top echelon. Stereogum reviewer Tom Breihan gave it a well-deserved “10/10” and wrote a brilliant article about it.

It’s also TNOCS’s highest-rated song in the top 100, according to the spreadsheet by commenter jrctennis23.

  • 99. “Heartless”Kanye West (2009)
  • 98. “I Gotcha”Joe Tex (1972)
  • 97. “Hold On”En Vogue (1990)

96. “Greenfields”The Brothers Four (1960)

This is the lowest-rated #2 in the top 100 among TNOCS users at a 3.7. For such an old song no less!

95. “You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine” Lou Rawls (1976)

Lou Rawls wore so many varied hats, but most people today only know him for this song and just see him as a Philly Soul guy. Kind of insulting, but it’s a great song – so it doesn’t really matter.

94. “Missing” – Everything But the Girl (1996)

Despite being by a UK indie act, this didn’t even chart on Modern Rock!

  • 93. Let Me Blow Ya Mind” – Eve and Gwen Stefani (2001)
  • 92. “Love on the Rocks” – Neil Diamond (1981)
  • 91. “Easy Lover” – Philip Bailey and Phil Collins (1985)
  • 90. “Do Anything” – Natural Selection (1991)
  • 89. “Personality” – Lloyd Price (1959)
  • 88. “Dream Weaver” – Gary Wright (1976)
  • 87. “Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue” – Crystal Gayle (1977)

86. “Forget You” – Cee-Lo Green (2011)

Just after this song became a hit, I saw a lady perform it (the clean version) at a concert. Her fun rendition is what I associate the song with in my mind now.

  • 85. “Slow Hand” The Pointer Sisters (1981)
  • 84. “Right Here, Right Now” – Jesus Jones (1991)

83. “Return to Sender” – Elvis Presley (1962)

In addition to eight #1’s in the Hot 100 era, Elvis also had four #2’s, with this record being his best-performing.

82. “Work It” Missy Elliott (2002)

You could argue Missy’s been the artist the most robbed of a #1 single. She holds the record for most weeks at #2 without ever having a #1: 10 weeks for “Work It” and another 7 weeks for the song she’s featured on that will show up later.

81. “All I Wanna Do Is Make Love to You” – Heart (1990)

Certainly one of the more interesting plots to occur in a #2 hit.

80. “Believe It or Not (Theme from The Greatest American Hero)” – Joey Scarbury (1981)

79. “Heathens” – Twenty One Pilots (2016)

If you sing this song into a mirror several times, an ugly tattoo of a mouth will probably show up on your hand.

78. “Complicated”Avril Lavigne (2002)

The maker of this irresistible earworm comes right before her ex’s song which is…

  • 77. “Photograph”Nickelback (2005)
  • 76. “Hotline Bling” Drake (2015)

Drake holds the record for the most #2 singles with 9, and has the best verse on a tenth (“BedRock”) as part of the Young Money collective.

This is his only appearance in the top 100, and only “Laugh Now, Cry Later” also makes the top 200.

On the other hand, he has three in the bottom 20, including “Nonstop,” which I think is one of the weirdest #2 hits ever.

  • 75. “Take Me to Church” – Hozier (2014)

74. “Love Is Alive” – Gary Wright (1976)

The recently departed Wright is one of the more unexpected artists to have two songs in the top 100. “Love Is Alive” doesn’t live up to the wonderfully eerie vibe of “Dream Weaver,” but that bridge is fantastic.

73. “Meant to Be” – Bebe Rexha and Florida Georgia Line (2018)

On the Country Airplay chart, this song was on top for one week. On the Hot Country Songs chart, which includes airplay from all formats as well as sales and streaming, it topped the chart for 50 weeks.

72. “Rockin’ Robin” – Bobby Day (1958)

It’s one of two songs to hit #2 twice by different artists, the other being “Last Kiss.” Michael Jackson also took “Rockin’ Robin” to the runner-up position.

  • 71. “Cradle of Love” – Billy Idol (1990)
  • 70. “You Make Me Feel Brand New” – The Stylistics (1974)
  • 69. “Wow” – Post Malone (2019)
  • 68. “All Out of Love” – Air Supply (1980)
  • 67. “Right Back Where We Started From” – Maxine Nightingale (1976)

66. “Start Me Up” The Rolling Stones (1981)

  • 65. “Being with You” – Smokey Robinson (1981)

64. “Smack That” – Akon and Eminem (2006)

Former MTV VJ and current SXM 80s on 8 host Alan Hunter brought up a fact about this song I didn’t know before: that the opening scene in the music video was a tribute to Eddie Murphy singing “Roxanne” in the classic 80s cop flick 48 Hours.

63. “Return of the Mack” – Mark Morrison (1997)

A few years ago, this song was used in ads for McDonalds (of course), Uber Eats, and Google at the same time.

62. “Just the Two of Us” – Grover Washington Jr. and Bill Withers (1981)

The single version and the album version have very different vibes. The single version is mostly Withers singing, while he leaves a few minutes in during the album version allowing Washington Jr. to vamp with the backing vocals repeating the song’s title. As much as I love Withers, I prefer the album version.

  • 61. “Back at One” – Brian McKnight (1999)
  • 60. “Airplanes” B.o.B. and Hayley Williams (2010)
  • 59. “Right Thurr” – Chingy (2003)
  • 58. “Don’t Talk to Strangers” – Rick Springfield (1982)

57. “Get Low” – Lil Jon and the East Side Boyz with the Ying Yang Twins (2003)

Tom Breihan gave this a 10. TNOCS gave it a 5.3. I’m closer to Tom.

If you went to dances in the 2000s and didn’t immediately back up when Lil Jon yelled “BACK! BACK! BACK IT UP!” you had a very different experience than me.

56. “Payphone” – Maroon 5 and Wiz Khalifa (2012)

The start of a five-song stretch where every song is either by Maroon 5 or originally released in 1960 or before. One of Maroon 5’s three #2 hits (the third is the Pachelbel-borrowing “Memories”).

55. “Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree” Brenda Lee (2019 and every winter afterwards)

Has charted on the Hot 100 for 12 Christmases in total: from 1960-1962, in 2013, and from 2015 onward.

  • 54. “Last Date” – Floyd Cramer (1960)
  • 53. “Sugar” – Maroon 5 (2015)

52. “Put Your Head on My Shoulder” – Paul Anka (1959)

51. “Bohemian Rhapsody” – Queen (1992)

Quite possibly:

the most overexposed song during my lifetime. When I hear it, my brain immediately shuts off.

I’d love to hear your thoughts on these songs! Comment away!

Let the author know that you liked their article with a “Green Thumb” Upvote! 

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Phylum of Alexandria
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October 4, 2023 9:10 am

Totally agree with you on “Get Low.”

As a fan of dumb novelty songs, I liked it immediately, but in kind of a dismissive, condescending way.

But when I actually heard it in a club, booming from giant speakers, I fully got it. This thing dominates the dance floor. You have no choice but to surrender to the beat and…back, back, back it up.

mt58
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October 4, 2023 10:18 am
Reply to  ISurvivedPop

// {start procedure: “in-the-airplane-stealth-edit”}

// {find duplicate; flag “greenfields” ; delete}

// {replace: “Kingsmen-45.png”}

// {run autocomment- message:” Fixed!”}

Fixed!

stobgopper
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October 4, 2023 3:40 pm
Reply to  ISurvivedPop

And here I thought it was part of the burgeoning ‘Justice for “Greenfields”‘ movement, of which I’m the Treasurer and Head of Recruitment. Join me!

Virgindog
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October 4, 2023 9:48 am

“If your ball is too big for your mouth, it’s not your ball.” I will be contemplating this all day.

Nice job, ISurvivedPop! The Missy Elliot and Drake factoids are super interesting. Looking foward to the next installment!

JJ Live At Leeds
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October 4, 2023 10:53 am
Reply to  Virgindog

I have no frame of reference for Believe It Or Not and started watching Dog of Wisdom totally perplexed and wondering if something had gone wrong in the layout or this was some bizarre ad embedded into the article. Should never have doubted mt! I have no need to listen to the actual song, it’s never gonna top the Dog Of Wisdom.

JJ Live At Leeds
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October 4, 2023 11:03 am

It’s a pleasingly random selection across the ages. A fine artefact for how popular music has evolved featuring the great, the good and the surprise of being reminded that Billy Idol and Jesus Jones really were more popular in America (even if only for a brief moment in Jesus Jones’ case).

Louie Louie only #100 though?! It’s a travesty.

JJ Live At Leeds
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October 4, 2023 12:32 pm
Reply to  ISurvivedPop

You’re right. Start Me Up was the Stones last top 10 single here. Its the point they became a legacy band, still a massive live draw but sales dropped off. The albums kept charting high up, some of them at #1 but Blue and Lonesome in 2016 was their first Platinum studio album since Exile On Main Street.

rollerboogie
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October 4, 2023 1:37 pm

Great job! This is bringing up lots of thoughts!
Some of them-

  • Nickelback’s “Photograph” and Drake’s “Hotline Bling” back-to-back nearly set off a supernova of hatred in my mind, but then “Take Me to Church” following right after quickly calmed me down and I’m okay now.
  • Louie, Louie has never done anything for me. I know it’s a historic song that captures everything rock and roll was all about, and I don’t care. There, I said it.
  • A friend of mine in high school once played “Believe It or Not” on the jukebox at the pizza parlor and it was probably the angriest I had ever gotten at him. The only acceptable form of this song is found on George Costanza’s answering machine.
  • If a winner had to be declared for today’s round, I would vote for “You’ll Never Find a Love Like Mine” by Lou Rawls. And I have to say, that there is probably a great portion of those of us who grew up in the 70s that remember Lou for not just one song, but two- “Lady Love” was on the radio quite frequently at around the same time. Still not right and I personally need to rectify that for myself.
  • “You Make Me Feel Brand New” would be my runner up. It was supposed to be played as the second song at our wedding reception, but I had it on the cassette and the DJ didn’t have a cassette player. I’m still slightly miffed about that.
R.S.Wonham
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October 4, 2023 2:31 pm

Neil Diamond’s Love On The Rocks appeared to be heading for the top spot, but then Lennon was killed. Starting Over was just ahead of Rocks just before the shooting, but the latter held on for three weeks strong while Lennon held the top spot for 4 weeks. I am not sure the Lennon song would have made #1. The Charts at the time were heavy on ballads, with Kenny Rogers’ Lady having spent 6 weeks at #1, following Babs’ 4 week run at the helm with Woman In Love. If Cher COULD turn back time, Lennon would still be here and both he and Diamond would have hit the top spot back in late 1980/early 1981. Still tragically sad 40+ years on.

My faves from the list are Maxine Nightingale’s Right Back Where We Started From (giddy fun!), Lou Rawl’s You’ll Never Find… (So smooth) and Grover & uncredited Bill’s Just The Two of Us (So smooth v.2). Rockin’ Round The Christmas Tree is Essential Christmas! Happy holidays!

Edith G
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October 4, 2023 3:16 pm

Great topic ISP, I don’t know the criteria for the list, but it was a great way to remember or to know those songs stuck on number 2 (some of them are injustices).

I have an irrational love for “You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine”, “All Out Of Love” (I don’t care) and “Easy Lover”, and I’m agree with you about “Just The Two Of Us”.

So Drake is the current holder for most number twos? I don’t know why I think that you-know- who (or as she was called in a past article, “Sailor Twift”), wants that record too.

Ozmoe
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October 4, 2023 11:36 pm

Of interest to me here is that between 1963 (Louie Louie) and 1974 (You Make Me Feel Brand New) the only song to make this grouping was I Gotcha, a song that gets relatively little airplay on oldies stations and other music outlets. To me, the Joe Tex song I remember better is his million seller from 1977 that also gets relatively few hits in part to its politically incorrect title alone – Ain’t Gonna Bump No More (With No Big Fat Woman).

Ozmoe
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October 5, 2023 11:19 am
Reply to  ISurvivedPop

Ugh! Playground in My Mind is one of the worst hits of the 1970s bar none from the cheesy music and production to the irritating lyrics. The lead vocal ain’t bad but can’t save it. A definite 1 in my book.

cstolliver
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October 5, 2023 10:01 pm
Reply to  Ozmoe

Ha-ha! I disagree but I love the passion. That’s the same passion I feel for “I Gotcha,” which I loathe.

LinkCrawford
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October 5, 2023 12:30 pm

Songs that I wish had gone to #1:
Lou Rawls – “You’ll Never Find Another Love Like Mine”
Neil Diamond – “Love on the Rocks”
Philip Bailey and Phil Collins – “Easy Lover”
Lloyd Price – “Personality”
Gary Wright – “Dream Weaver” and “Love Is Alive”
Crystal Gayle – “Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue”
Elvis Presley – “Return to Sender”
Grover Washington, Jr. and Bill Withers – “Just the Two of Us”
Floyd Cramer – “Last Date”

Songs that I’m glad did NOT go to #1:
Pointer Sisters – “Slow Hand”
Heart – “All I Wanna Do…”
Lil Jon, etc – “Get Low”

cstolliver
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October 5, 2023 10:00 pm
Reply to  LinkCrawford

Seconded on Heart. What a wretched song. Now, if “Never” had made it to the top…

blu_cheez
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October 5, 2023 7:04 pm

Songs in the “Can’t believe that didn’t get to #1” club:

“Louie Louie” – The Kingsmen (1963)
“Love on the Rocks” – Neil Diamond (1981)
“Easy Lover” – Philip Bailey and Phil Collins (1985)
“Dream Weaver” – Gary Wright (1976)
“Forget You” – Cee-Lo Green (2011)
“Right Here, Right Now” – Jesus Jones (1991)
“Return to Sender” – Elvis Presley (1962)
“Work It” – Missy Elliott (2002)
“Believe It or Not (Theme from The Greatest American Hero)” – Joey Scarbury (1981)
“Complicated” – Avril Lavigne (2002)
“Hotline Bling” – Drake (2015)
“Right Back Where We Started From” – Maxine Nightingale (1976)
“Start Me Up” – The Rolling Stones (1981)
“Return of the Mack” – Mark Morrison (1997)
“Just the Two of Us” – Grover Washington Jr. and Bill Withers (1981)
“Bohemian Rhapsody” – Queen (1992)

Zeusaphone
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October 5, 2023 9:44 pm

Ooh, and it’s alright and it’s coming on
We gotta get right back to where we started from

It’s a song so perfect in its simplicity it is timeless despite sounding as 1970s as anything has ever sounded.

For me this is the sound of the Bicentennial even more than the standard patriotic fare. I remember seeing a bunch of people dancing to it on the National Mall, everyone happy and without a care in the world.

Last edited 6 months ago by Zeusaphone
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