The Hottest Hit On The Planet! – “Hey Ya!” by Outkast!
- Will future generations be capable of understanding just how big “Hey Ya!” was?
- Will they be able to get their future-heads around it?
- Will it be possible for older generations to explain it to them?
Not necessarily in relation to the number of countries it was Number One in – at least six! – nor the length of time it was Number One on Billboard – nine weeks! – nor any other metric you can think of. Not so much the fact that so many people loved it. But the fact that so many different groups of people – groups of people who were, in most other respects, very different – found it the one thing they could all agree on.
Hip-hop party starter fans loved it.
Pop party starter fans loved it.
Indie kids loved it.
Vintage 60s and 70s soul, funk and British Invasion fans loved it.
Wedding organizers loved it.
Grandmas loved it.
Judging by the fact that it reached No.16 on Billboard’s Alternative Airplay chart, even butt-rock fans loved it
“Hey Ya!” was so big that, a decade and a half later: A petition to change the Australian National Anthem to “Hey Ya!” received enough signatures that the Prime Minister of the time:
(The leather-jacket-wearing Malcolm Turnbull…)
…felt the need to officially reject it on the floor of Parliament.
And THAT was the Australian perspective on “Hey Ya!”
Okay, so the choice of “Hey Ya!” as a possible Australian National Anthem was largely due to its rhyming with “Strayaya” and not necessarily because of an overwhelming passion for the song itself.
But how do you explain the fact that Polaroid had to put out a statement begging users to stop shaking their Polaroid pictures?
Because advances in photographic technology meant that it was now unnecessary! In fact, it would now ruin your pictures, by causing – and here I need to quote the technical jargon of Polaroid’s media statement – “blobs.”
“Shake It Like A Polaroid Picture” was a catchphrase so meme-able that it could probably have sent “Hey Ya!” to the top of the family reunion charts on its very own.
At yet, it is only ONE of the catchphrases!
There are SO MANY catchphrases in “Hey Ya!” – coming BAM! BAM! BAM! one after another – that some of them – “don’t want to meet your mama, just want to make you cum-a” for example – were inevitably buried in the rush. In virtually any other song “don’t want to meet your mama, just want to make you cum-a” would have been the key meme-able moment.
But on “Hey Ya!” it’s just there to fill in some bars before Andre 3000 asks the eternal question: “WHAT’S COOLER THAN BEING COOL?”
The answer of course? “ICE COLD”!!!
‘Ice Cold’ was one of Andre 3000’s many, many, many nicknames. Some of those nicknames made an appearance in the video, as members of The Love Below. But Andre simply had so many nicknames that a whole bunch missed out. Nicknames that didn’t make the cut include:
- Funk Crusador
- Love Pusher
- Touchy Tiger
And: Nookie Blossumgang III. Which I think is how I shall refer to Andre 3000 from now on.
Nookie Blossumgang III’s co-Outkast captain, Big Boi, also goes by an insane number of aliases:
- Daddy Fat Sax
- General Patton
- Sir Lucious L. Leftfoot
- The Son of Chico Dusty
- Sgt. Slaughter
- Chief
- Billy Ocean (also the name of his pet shark)|
- Hot Tub Tony
And: Francis the Savannah Chitlin’ Pimp. Sometimes it’s truly difficult to identify which of the two was supposed to be the weird one.
And it’s the very weirdness of “Hey Ya!” that makes its hugeness so special. There had been other hits that had been Number One forever – forever ever? FOREVER ever? – but they were usually soppy ballads. They had usually been songs that sounded like songs that would go to Number One forever.
There probably hadn’t been an uber-hit that sounded so little like an uber-hit since Prince’s “When Doves Cry.”
Given how big it was, how weird it was, it’s disappointing that “Hey Ya!” didn’t really lead to a whole bunch of other genre-mash anthems.
I supposed arguments could be made that without “Hey Ya!” we would never have had M.I.A. or Gnarls Barkley.
Or that the Gorillaz second album would not have blown up the way it did.
But it certainly didn’t lead to a whole wave of hip-hop songs that didn’t sound like hip-hop songs.
If “Hey Ya!” was supposed to be Nookie Blossumgang III’s attempt at producing the least hip-hop Nookie Blossumgang III record possible, be assured that it could have been even less hip-hop:
Nookie Blossumgang III had approached Woody Allen to feature in the video.
What as? The TV host? Given that Woody listens to virtually nothing but jazz, this was always going to be a long shot.
Polaroid went bankrupt in 2008.
“Hey Ya” is a 10!
Meanwhile, in Indie Sleaze Land:
“Take Me Out” by Franz Ferdinand
Franz Ferdinand. If you know one thing about Franz Ferdinand, it’s that they named themselves after the Archduke Franz Ferdinand:
Most famous for being that dude who got shot and consequently started World War One.
Franz Ferdinand choose the name Franz Ferdinand because
(a) they wanted the band to be equally as historically important, and because
(b) they liked the alliteration.
Did Franz Ferdinand become as historically important as the Archduke? Probably not. But they made a generation of indie kids feel momentarily interested in the Austro-Hungarian Empire, and that feels like an achievement of sorts. Franz Ferdinand were also influenced by another hugely important historical event of the 1910s:
Franz Ferdinand’s interests included the Russian Revolution, and the subsequent Russian constructivism movement.
The Strokes may have thought they were being retro with their CBGBs-In-The-70s obsession, but Franz Ferdinand were taking it far, far, far further back.
Would the world be ready for a video consisting of a band playing in front of a steam-punk futurist montage of El Lissitzky and László Moholy-Nagy paintings? Weirdly enough, we were!
Franz Ferdinand’s infatuation with the Russian Revolution went further than making sure their guitar riffs were more angular than a cubist painting.
Although I’m pretty sure they never fully embraced Marxist-Leninism, they were hugely into the kind of things usually associated with political movements. Such as manifestos and slogans.
Franz Ferdinand’s manifesto?
“To make music for girls to dance to.” Although, as The Guardian pointed out, that’s really more of a mission statement.
As anyone who has ever seen the dancefloor light up with girls – and boys, some of whom may have been named “Michael” – as soon as that first mighty strum reverbs out of the indie club speakers can attest, Franz Ferdinand succeeded – to use a suitably steam-punk phrase – “with aplomb!”
And that’s just during that first movement. The one about the “crosshairs.” The one that doesn’t even have a beat. It’s not until 55 seconds into “Take Me Out” that the beat finally drops and the proper post-punk glam stomping begins… and that’s when people really lose their shit!
And as anyone who has ever visited an indie club can tell you: songs about going to a club and standing on your own and leaving on your own and going home and crying and wanting to die are cat-nip for that crowd. Guaranteed dancefloor fillers.
Indie clubs may be the only clubs where songs about being rejected pack the dancefloors. “Take Me Out” is such dancefloor filler. And that is a depressing thought. I mean, if Alex Kapranos knows he won’t be leaving here with you, then what chance do the rest of us have?
“Take Me Out” is a 9.
Meanwhile, in Emo Land:
“My Immortal” by Evanescence:
the sequel to their 2003 blockbuster “Bring Me To Life.”
Other than being far, far quieter – at least until the band kicks in towards the end – “My Immortal” has a lot in common with its prequel: “Bring Me To Life.”
Both songs featured in the soundtrack to Daredevil. Although being a piano ballad it sounds more like it was written for a Disney princess – a Gothic Disney princess, but a Disney princess nonetheless – to sing.
Both songs were written when Amy and the appropriately named Ben Moody – his actual name, can you believe it? – were teenagers.
Which is probably the perfect age to write songs that will one day end up as part of a Marvel franchise.
Also the best age for writing a song in which you ask a ghost – a ghost of someone deeply dear to you – to leave you alone. Although, really, it’s not a ghost. It’s just your memories.
Ben is in the video. Looking moody. Wandering around Barcelona. A neighbourhood known as the Gothic Quarter, which is doubtlessly why they choose it.
Fun Fact: The Gothic Quarter of Barcelona contains virtually zero Gothic architecture. Virtually everything in the Gothic quarter that looks vaguely medieval was built in 1928 to spruce up the neighbourhood for a World Fair. Despite this, it looks like a marvellous place to visit. And yet Ben is looking miserable. This is probably because he is being haunted by Amy.
Amy is the ghost. This is slightly confusing, since she’s also the one singing. Therefore she’s the one asking the ghost to leave her alone. You can tell that Amy is the ghost because her feet never touch the ground.
Then we get some shots of Ben again. He’s sitting at a grand piano, but he’s too depressed to play it. Obviously it’s because Amy’s ghost won’t leave him alone.
Or was it? Or was it instead some rather bizarre foreshadowing?
Because, two weeks later – before there was time for the video to even get released – Ben abruptly left the band.
In Berlin. In the middle of their tour. When they were only just getting famous. And people began to wonder. Maybe Ben Moody wasn’t acting. Maybe he was really sad.
He was. He soon went into rehab. Or as MTV decided to phrase it, spent “two years battling nasty demons.” But not Daredevil. Daredevil was a good guy.
“My Immortal” is a 7.
Meanwhile, in Sexy Land:
“Milkshake” by Kelis
Kelis’ “Milkshake” Is Bringing All The Boys To The Yard! And They’re Like… It’s Better Than Yours! Damn Right! It’s Better Than Yours!
This is bad news for any competing milkshake vendors in the neighbourhood, who are presumedly about to go out of business. If only they knew Kelis’ milkshake making secrets.
No problem! Kelis Can Teach You!
She’ll have to charge though. That seems fair.
Should you attend a Kelis Milkshake Making Class however, you might find yourself disappointed. For Guardian readers were devastated when they woke up one 2016 morning to the scandalous news that Kelis had never, ever made a single milkshake! Turns out that she’s more into smoothies.
It was all a lie! Or, more charitably, a metaphor!!
So you see, “Milkshake” is not – as some naïve and innocent souls have suggested – a song about how to make milkshakes. “Milkshake” can best be described as Kelis’ Guide To Being Sexy.
It’s also proof that there is absolutely no word in the English dictionary that cannot double as innuendo. Although I guess the distinct possibility that Kelis was singing about her breasts may have helped.
Kelis would later record an entire album called “Food”, complete with song titles such as “Biscuits N’ Gravy”, “Jerk Ribs” and “Friday Fish Fry.” She’s also a sous chef! And has written her own recipe book!
“Milkshake” was of course produced by The Neptunes. And because the 00s were all about appropriating musical instruments from around the globe – many of which are associated with religious ceremonies – and putting them in the service of stripper music:
The groove of “Milkshake” is primarily created by a darbuka.
Using a darbuka for stripper music is probably fine. It’s most associated with belly-dancing.
“Milkshake” is 10.
Meanwhile in Loud-Mouth Party Land:
“Be Faithful” by Fatman Scoop!
Fatman Scoop has a dance. It’s real easy to do. Check it out:
- YOU GOT A HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL, GET YOUR HANDS UP!
- YOU GOT A FIFTY DOLLAR BILL, GET YOUR HANDS UP!
- YOU GOT A TWENTY DOLLAR BILL, GET YOUR HANDS UP!
- YOU GOT A TEN DOLLAR BILL, GET YOUR HANDS UP!
In a perfect world “Be Faithful” would be The Party Starting Song That Every Party Starts With™.
But we do not, however, live in a perfect world. I just looked at Spotify, and “Be Faithful” only has just a smidgeon over 60 million streams. Not bad, but it feels low. I guess there’s no point in playing “Be Faithful” at a party now. Nobody caries cash. If you played “Be Faithful” at a party now, not a single person would be able to honestly put their hands up!
Or maybe I just think “Be Faithful” is bigger than it is because – like “Hey Ya” – it would eventually find itself at the centre of Australian political discourse, when Prime Minister Scott Morisson, a right-wing chicken-head who really ought to be quiet, tweeted:
The tweet was only up for a couple of hours – receiving something like a hundred thousand views – before Scomo deleted it. It had been pointed out to him that some of “Be Faithful”’s lyrics were of a sexual nature. Which lyrics were those, you might ask?
That would be… these ones:
- “WHO F**KN TONIGHT?
- “WHO F**KN TONIGHT?
- “WHO F**KN TONIGHT?
- OH! OH!”
Scomo apologized, and promised to go back to listening exclusively to Tina Arena. What a chicken-head.
And that’s the Australian perspective of “Be Faithful” by Fatman Scoop.
Weirdly, for such an attention-grabbing impossible-to-ignore party anthem, “Be Faithful” took four years after it originally dropped in 1999, to take over the charts.
The most popular theory for it taking that long is that they had to clear all the samples. Since most of the samples were by other rappers – Jay-Z, Naughty By Nature, Black Sheep – this feels unlikely to me. My theory is that the world simply wasn’t ready for “Be Faithful” yet. A record like “Be Faithful” only makes sense in a world with Lil Jon in it.
Whatever the reason, whatever the delay – and after four years of being dropped by party-starting DJs, popping up on soundtracks, and presumedly being downloaded a million times from Napster – 2003 comes around.
And “Be Faithful” gets an official release. And Fatman Scoop gets a very cheap, very mid-00s video where he lives in a world where everybody just seems to be a Great Big Head With Shoes! But no-one’s head can shout as loud as Fatman Scoop’s!! And it’s likely that none ever will.
None of this answers the question of why a song containing the lyrics ““WHO F**KIN TONIGHT? WHO F**KINTONIGHT? WHO F**KININ TONIGHT? OH! OH!” not to mention “TO ALL MY ______ THAT THEY HIT IT FROM THE BACK, WHO WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH NO STRINGS ATTACHED” could possibly ever be called “Be Faithful.”
I love this stupid-ass song and “Be Faithful” is an 8.
Meanwhile in Coffee Shop Soul Land:
“You Don’t Know My Name” by Alicia Keys
But of course, in her imaginary world where she was just a regular person and didn’t become a superstar, Alicia Keys would have been a waitress in a coffee shop.
I mean, she has her own line of teas, Alicia Teas. It was a birthday present from her husband, Swiss Beatz. They are looking to sell it at Starbucks.
Also, Alicia was a neo-soul artist. There’s something about neo-soul that just screams out – or seductively murmurs – coffeehouse.
It’s not for nothing that Spotify’s “Soul Coffee” playlist has over 750,000 followers.
Or that, even down here in Melbourne – not the most soulful city in the world – we have a Soul Café, a Coffee & Soul café, a Soul Soul Café and a Soul Sisters’ Café. To name just a few.
So what kind of coffee shop does Alicia work at? What sort of coffee shop can we expect Mos Def – aka Michael – to come in on Wednesdays, on his lunch break I think? And have Alicia call him up to tell him she likes his fly blue suit and ask if he’d like to see her outside of the restaurant. She looks different outside her work clothes.
Now, Alicia says it’s at the corner of 39th and Lenox Street.
But there’s no such address. It has been suggested that Alicia meant 139th Street, which would put it in Harlem, and indeed there is such a corner! With a park across the street!! I mean, it’s just a basketball court, with some swings around the back, but I think we’ve found our coffee shop!
Sadly, this means that Alicia works at a Kennedy’s Burger and Shakes… or maybe not, since they only had their grand opening in 2020.
If you were thinking about maybe making the trip up to Harlem just to go to the Kennedy’s Burger and Shakes where imaginary-regular-person-version-Alicia Keys worked, don’t bother. The reviews aren’t great.
Maybe they don’t use milk and cream. Maybe they no longer offer the special – Fried Fish with Greens and Yams – with hot chocolate. Maybe the waitress didn’t think the reviewers were “kinda sweet.” I don’t know. All I can tell you is that Kennedy’s shakes are not bringing any boys to the yard.
“You Don’t Even Know My Name” is a 9.
Oh, and it was produced by Kanye, which is doing my head in. But on the other hand, it makes perfect sense.
What a crazy time it was to be alive!
To hear these, and other 70s hits, tune into DJ Professor Dan’s Twitch stream on Sundays, 8pm Melbourne time, 9am London time, 1am L.A. time (of the night before), middle of the night (before) New York time!!!
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Great column! Lots of great asides (FOREVER ever? cracked me right up.)
Of course, it helps that you have a great bunch of songs. Well, at least the ones I know. I’ve never heard “Be Faithful,” though your hilarious description is likelier more entertaining than the song itself.
TGIF. folks!
Jeez Polaroid, next you’re gonna tell me not to blow it like an NES cartridge!
You’re right about “Hey Ya!” not having all that much stylistic influence on later radio rap. “Crazy” and “Feel Good Inc” were maybe as close as you can get. I think more than anything it inspired black musicians to bypass rap and go more into pop sounds, weird or no. Like Timba/lake, Janelle Monae, Solange. It probably also showed Kanye that he could take rap into all sorts of weirder terrains.
Tierra Whack is one rapper who seems to have embodied the spirit of Hey Ya in at least some of her songs. And the weirdness in all of them. She’s not exactly popular, but her first full album coming soon might put her on the map.
Here’s her 15-minute mini-masterpiece from 2018:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EOTebhPy04g
I swear until now I did not know “Be Faithful” existed. That video is entertaining in a very surreal way. The song is terribly catchy (not hard, since it’s based on “Chic Cheer”). Sad it’s too vulgar for Link. Won’t be added to my library. But I can appreciate it for what it is. I’ll bet Tom Breihan loves it.
I don’t think I’ve ever heard it either. It’s pretty fun and an 8 sounds about right.
And regarding my new 00s Night – DJ Professor Dan Is Bringing The 00s Back! YEAH! (and yes, the “YEAH!” is an official part of the name) – on Twitch… here’s my promo.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YqKF-E4R1Zc
Will future generations be capable of understanding just how big “Hey Ya!” was?
Good question. I just now asked my daughter if she knew how big Hey Ya was, as she was 6 years away from being born when it was released. She responded with an emphatic “yeah”, though she didn’t go into detail, so not sure she knows just how unusually crazy things got with that song. The fact that I knew the song inside and out and I never listened to much rap at all, on its own led me to believe that it had thoroughly crossed over to pretty much everyone. My theory at the time was that it was the acoustic guitar, not something normally heard in that genre, and a familiar sound that could draw in those of us who grew up hearing it on nearly every song. It’s kind of like comfort food.
So happy you covered Franz Ferdinand. I am on record on multiple occasions as expressing my firm belief that Franz Ferdinand is one of the greatest rock records ever made. I was crestfallen when Tom only mentioned them briefly in this column when he covered this time frame, as one of the many rock bands of its era that didn’t manage to capture the American mainstream’s fancy. Stereogum recently did a 20 year retrospective on the album and allowed people to rate it, and just about everybody in the comment section gave it a full 5 stars. I felt somewhat redeemed.
Your mention of the darbuka definitely got my attention and I imagine @bothgrouse perked up as well.
Good to see the love for Franz. They were the first concert that me and the future Mrs J went to together in late 2005 promoting the 2nd album. They didn’t live up to the initial commercial success but they’ve always been good value. The collaboration with Sparks; FFS is quality. Its been a way too long 6 years this month since the last album. Well overdue a new one. They do tour and the last single came out in 2022 so it appears they’re still a going concern but they really need to up the work rate.
Thoroughly entertaining, especially the Hey Ya! write up. That, Take Me Out and Milkshake are nailed on 10s.
Fatman Scoop was #1 here. One that definitrly got the party started, best appreciated in a hot sweaty bar surrounded by people who have drunk themselves out of their critical faculties. More astoundingly the follow up It Takes Scoop reached #9 despite the fact not a single person alive in 2003 can recall it (please, no need to prove me wrong on that point all you Scoop fans).
Likewise, i don’t recall that Alicia Keys song but thats on me rather than a collective attempt to forget it.b
Looking at the calendar I’d forgotten the triple leap year of 2004 when February had 31 days. Bad luck if you were born of the 30th / 31st waiting for your birthday to come back round.
https://www.tnocs.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/02/Morgan1.mp3
Hmm, sounds like Mr. Freeman wasn’t done with his nap yet…
Noticed that too.
Poor guy. Probably was up all night worrying about Andy Dufresne. .
Another glorious entry in this series. Love this!
The Fatman Scoop track immediately triggered thoughts of Target, who used this song (well, actually a cover of “Love Like This” by Faith Evans) in a series of ads recently that were played so much I’ve grown to actively dislike the song. So, thanks a lot, Target!! 😠
https://youtu.be/YWlr8pmCLwM?si=Yo30smQnNSsNx8eu
I’m telling you something you already know. This factoid is for everybody else. But Diane Warren wrote a song for Tina Arena called “If I Was a River”. If Warren can’t break you stateside, nobody will. It’s a great song. Maybe an artist with name recognition can turn it into a hit, like “Some Hearts”, originally written for Marshall Crenshaw. Admittedly, I like Carrie Underwood’s version better.
I’m a big fan of Arena’s version of “I Want to Know What Love Is”. I think of Tina Arena as the Australian Sophie Ellis-Bextor. The latter was long overdue for success outside of the UK.
2004 was a fun year. I missed it. Too occupied with listening to exactly one type of music. My bad. Indie rock in 4/4 time is never coming back and I’m okay with that.