I don’t think I’m going out on a limb by suggesting that some of the TNOCS cognoscenti are likely to have impressive vinyl collections.
I’m pretty sure that some of the more obsessive vinyl lovers will be well aware of the particular aspect of vinyl graffiti that is todays subject.
Whether you are or aren’t aware, I expect some will be rushing to their collection to give it a thorough once over.
Let me explain. I was idling through the Internet when I happened upon a phrase I hadn’t heard in some time. One that took me back to my teenage vinyl buying years in the late 80s, early 90s:
“A Porky Prime Cut“
Stay with me: it’ll all become clear.
For a lot of people, the record is just the medium by which they got to hear their music.
For the music obsessive: it’s a rich source of information, poring over the sleeve, inserts and the label in the centre of the black circle.
And for those prepared to look that little bit harder: there’s the mostly empty bit of vinyl between the label and the run-out groove:
That is, other than perhaps for an identifying catalogue number: it’s mostly empty…
…mostly empty, other than being the domain of George Peckham.
George was a mastering engineer responsible for producing the master lacquer from which the vinyl copies are pressed.
He would inscribe his signature phrase; ‘A Porky Prime Cut’ into the master copy, as a mark of quality to signify a job well done, which would then see it imprinted on every copy.
He would also ask the artist if they wanted to add a message, or sometimes just add one of his own.
Porky? That was his nickname.
George/Porky started out as a musician in Liverpool in the same circles as The Beatles.
On one occasion: even appearing on the same bill, and following the same trail to the Star Club in Hamburg with his band, The Pawns.
He moved onto play with The Fourmost, a Merseybeat band also managed by Brian Epstein, though he joined after the last of their six top 40 hits. It was once he moved from playing to manufacturing that his impact would be seen.
Remaining within The Beatles universe, he got a job with Apple in 1968 as a trainee disc cutter, as well as assisting Magic Alex in the electronics division. From there he moved up to chief disc cutter, and then onto working with a range of labels, big and small.
Porky is an integral part in the production of a huge number of records from the late 60s through to the 90s.
My peak vinyl years were 1989 to ’94.
My local record shop, Flipside, sold off recent chart-avoiding singles for as little as 10p (13 cents at today’s exchange rate). I ended up with hundreds of them.
At the same time, I was a regular at record fairs and any second-hand record shops within a 30 mile radius, which fueled a collection of before my time releases from the 60s onwards.
I would scrutinize every element of the cover, inserts and the record label to devour any information and make connections through the record companies, studios, producers and anyone / anything related to the music industry.
The engraved message: A Porky Prime Cut, didn’t escape my notice.
It turned up regularly.
In the pre-internet days I didn’t know what it meant and who was responsible. I assumed they were all the responsibility of one person, but in my youthful naivety I thought the statement was individually etched onto every copy.
I noticed other comments as well. Some cryptic, some in-jokes, some mischief making and none with any context to explain them.
As the 90s progressed I stopped buying vinyl, most of the 10p singles were consigned to the dustbin and I forgot about Porky Prime Cuts.
This last week has been a journey into the past, once again poring over my vinyl looking for not quite hidden messages. I’ve got plenty with George’s famed imprint, many more with a name or initials, presumably from George’s contemporaries.
I’ve even found the initials MT on They Might Be Giants; “Birdhouse In Your Soul” and The Charlatans, “Then.“
Then there are the more individual messages. There are too many to mention but here’s a selection of the more entertaining and unusual.
Reading up on George I found reference to the mischief he unleashed on Elvis Costello’s ‘This Year’s Model.’
On checking my copy, there it is: ‘ Special pressing no 003 – ring 434 52 32. Ask for Moira for your prize’
According to online sources the phone number was real, and went through to Warners, the distributors of the album. Who weren’t overly happy about the calls.
I have a Barenaked Ladies 1990 EP, featuring; ‘If I Had $1,000,000.’
George obviously paid attention to the songs; Side 2 features a question that I was asking as well;
‘What’s Kraft dinner?’
Sometimes George would offer an opinion.
- Ride’s Today Forever E.P. features;
Side 1: ‘As mellow as a fish’
Side 2: ‘Poundin away like a good un’
Away from Porky’s Prime Cuts, there’s plenty more.
Not everyone had a way with words:
- David Bowie’s ‘Scary Monsters’ album has;
Side 1: ‘I can’t think’
Side 2: ‘…of anything’
- The Charlatans’ ‘Between 10th and 11th’ asserted;
Side 1: ‘Still a commie’
Side 2: ‘after all these years’
Manchester provides a rich vein of vinyl utterances.
- Joy Division compilation ‘Still’ has the, at first, nonsensical / cryptic;
Side 1: ‘The chicken won’t stop’
Side 2 & 3 include chicken footprints
Side 4: ‘The chicken stops here’
The reality is a dark place. Before hanging himself Ian Curtis is reported to have watched the Werner Herzog film; Stroszek. The ending of which includes a chicken ‘dancing’ on a hotplate and dialogue that we ‘can’t stop the chicken dancing’.
- Moving on a few years and my copy of New Order’s 1987 compilation ‘Substance’ contains;
Side 1: ‘Goodbye Davy Pils 21.12.78 – 5.6.87’
Side 2: ‘The pleasure and the pain’
Side 3: ‘Of an extended childhood’
Side 4: ‘Steven won’t go to Stockport’
As to who Davy Pils was, I have been unable to find out. And why Steven won’t go to Stockport (a town close to Manchester) remains a mystery
- The Smiths were apparently prolific in this area with Morrissey behind their insertions. The only Smiths vinyl I own is ‘Meat Is Murder’ which sure enough opines:
Side 1: ‘Illness as art’
Side 2: ‘Doing the Wythenshawe waltz’
Wythenshawe being the suburb of Manchester that Johnny Marr and Andy Rourke hail from.
- The Inspiral Carpets were an integral part of the Manchester music scene of the early 90s but are sometimes overlooked. ‘The Island Head’ E.P. evidences a no nonsense approach:
A-side: ‘Clueless’
B-side: ‘Knobhead’
- Carter the Unstoppable Sex Machine, an early 90s indie duo comprising Jimbob and Fruitbat went for wishful thinking on single, ‘The Only Living Boy In New Cross:’
A-Side: ‘Fruitbat 4 Kylie’
B-Side: ‘Kylie 4 Fruitbat’
I have plenty of 60/70s vinyl in my collection.
And despite George / Porky beginning his work in the late 60s it’s from 1980 onwards where the phenomena took off – if my collection is anything to go by.
- My earliest example is T-Rex; Electric Warrior from 1971 carrying the name ‘Pecko’.
Which is an earlier alter ego for George / Porky. The only other record I have from the 70s with the phenomena is the aforementioned Elvis Costello competition.
One act that I felt sure would engage in cryptic legend building is The KLF. There’s a disappointing lack of inscriptions on my three pieces of KLF vinyl.
Having done a trawl of the Internet looking for information about Porky here’s some more notable offerings.
He was entrusted with cutting the Monty Python records including ‘The Monty Python Matching Tie and Handkerchief’ album.
Which features a twin groove on Side 2, turning it into a three sided record: with the positioning of the stylus determining which version of Side 2 you’d get to hear.
A task which may have inspired his comment on their later ‘Contractual Obligation Album‘, ‘DEAR MUM PLEASE SEND ANOTHER CUPPA DOWN, STILL CUTTING THE PYTHON L.P. LUV PORKY’
Despite being a big supporter of punk, George wasn’t universally enamoured of everything.
An E.P. by little known band The Door And The Window came with the the blunt summation;
‘This is the worst record I’ve ever cut’.
Away from George, there’s these offerings:
- Early Nirvana single ‘Love Buzz’ references a phrase Kurt’s father apparently shouted at them:
“Why Don’t You Trade Those Guitars For Shovels?”
- ‘Dead Ringer‘ from Meat Loaf has:
A-side: ‘REEKS OF CLASSIC CHICKEN’
B-side: ‘CHICKEN OUT OF HELL’
Some take advantage of the two sides for a joke set up and punchline.
- Shellac’s ‘1000 Hurts’ going with: A-Side: ‘What’s orange and looks good on hippies?’
B-Side: ‘Fire’
- ‘The Best of Joe Walsh’ takes a similar tone?: A-Side: ‘What do you do for a dog with no legs?’
B-Side: ‘Take him for a drag’
As ever, comedy is a subjective matter.
Eagles appear to have made full use of the opportunity to pass on messages. Online sources have the culprit as either Joe Walsh or producer Bill Szymczyk.
- 1980 Eagles Live LP features:
Side One: ‘Is it illegal to yell “movie” in a firehouse?’
Side Two: ‘Hello Federal?…. Ship it!’
Side Three: ‘Not tonight, thanks…’
Side Four: ‘I’ve gotta rest up for my monster’
- Weird Al unsurprisingly took advantage of this method of communication. Beginning with his debut album that advised:
Side 1: ‘AN ACCORDION IS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE’
Side 2: ‘EAT YOUR BROCCOLI’
Some people weren’t so keen, though perhaps that was a double bluff.
- What do you expect from an Aussie punk band called Hard-Ons? The A-Side of their 1989 album ‘Love Is A Battlefield Of Wounded Hearts‘ shouted;
“What the f* are you looking at? There’s no secret message here you stupid prick!’ The B-side provided further clarity; ‘And there’s no message here either you c*!”‘”
Except their version wasn’t censored. Their fans probably appreciated it.
- British indie stalwarts The Wedding Present went to a different extreme by having the entire lyrics to ‘Anyone Can Make A Mistake’ etched into the 12″ release.
Keeping up with the lyrics while the disc spun at 45pm may have been tricky.
- Led Zeppelin went to the dark side. Their interest in occultist; Aleister Crowley, evident on Led Zeppelin III with phrases connected to him. Some pressings stating;
‘So mote be it.’
While others state;
‘Do what thou wilt’
- Husker Du went for the gloomily poetic on Zen Arcade:
Side 1: ‘Falling Shirley – Everytime I square off against someone’s God’
Side 2: ‘I spend the rest of the night (or day) hallucinating’
Side 3: ‘And now it is the visions of a joyous hell’
Side 4: ‘Within the circuits that make Pac-Men die and vessels disintegrate
Answers on a postcard as to what that all means
I’ll leave you with one last entry from Porky: A more upbeat note.
After leaving Apple he continued his association with The Beatles.
On George Harrison’s Extra Texture album he left the message:
‘OOH GEORGE, YOU’RE SUCH A DARK HORSE LUV GEORGE’
Over to you!
Anyone got any in their collection to share?
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I NEVER knew this was a thing, and I’m now thoroughly intrigued. Great research, and also some dedication to vinyl! I stopped collecting it in 1990 when I switched over to CDs (and the “hidden track syndrome” which everyone did in the early 90s), only purchasing 12″ vinyl for my work as a DJ.
Which KLF did you own? They and The Shamen were my favorite bands in the early 90s!
Even though I haven’t bought any vinyl since the mid 90s I’ve kept all of my albums. Singles wise I kept the good stuff but I got rid of around three quarters of my collection on the basis that they came from the 10p bargain bin and turned out not to warrant many repeated listens.
I’ve got the KLF singles 3AM Eternal, America: What Time Is Love and Its Grim Up North.
While my sister had the Shamen Boss Drum album, though that was on cassette.
I never owned a huge number of vinyl records (n < 100), and they were all terribly old and scratched, but this phenomenon is completely new to me. It’s fascinating!
This is a fun topic. I know that I’ve seen a few unique ones over the years. They usually seem like inside jokes that I don’t understand. Speaking of Eagles’ and Joe Walsh’s producer, Bill Szymczyk, I remember one of my Joe Walsh albums had scrawled in the runout space “How do you spell Szymczyk?”, but I couldn’t find which one it was now.
On Discogs, most records have their runout message documented on the album’s entry.
I saw that ‘how do you spell…’ mentioned online. Eagles / Joe Walsh seem to be one of the more prolific acts at doing it.
I hadn’t realised discogs included these until I started researching. For the examples that don’t come from my own collection there were some where I found people online giving differing variations of the wording. For those I’ve gone with discogs as the definitive version.
Nice work, JJ!
I recently bought a new turntable and have started listening to my vinyl again. I’ll have to start looking for messages. I knew it was a thing, but I don’t remember any off the top of my head. The Monty Python one rings a bell. I’ve always wondered how they cut two grooves on one side. That couldn’t have been easy.
I’m listening to The Door And The Window now (on YouTube, not vinyl) and while it’s not the worst thing I’ve heard, it’s, shall we say, interesting.
Thanks Bill.
I hadn’t listened til The Door And The Window til now. Interesting is a good description, it’s not exactly a floor filler. More along the lines of its 2am, the staff want to close up, put this on and drive everybody out.
I hadn’t realised quite how many records I’ve got with messages til I wrote this. Had an enjoyable afternoon going through my collection to find them. I’ve not had a turntable for many years but I’ve just completed the milestone of 25 years service with my employer and have received a large amount of our internal reward scheme points for being, essentially, too lazy to move elsewhere. I can convert them into a range of store vouchers so currently looking into what turntable to buy with my windfall.
Here’s a non-comprehensive listing of multi-groove records. I remember the Monty Python one, and I thought there was a Firesign Theatre record that did it as well, but maybe I’m just conflating it with the Python.
https://www.wikiwand.com/en/Multisided_record
This is great, Eric. It may be incomplete but there’s a lot of stuff here I didn’t know about. Sugarcubes with Jesus and Mary Chain? I need to find that now!
I smiled when you mentioned the name of your childhood record store because The Flip Side was the name of a record store that I visited frequently as a teen, as it was within walking distance of my house. I never knew about the messages on vinyl. I love that the Kraft dinner was an unfamiliar reference across the pond. Now you know how we feel about more than a few Beatles lyrics.
I still don’t know what a Kraft dinner is!
I suppose I could now google it but maybe some things are best left to the imagination. I’m guessing it’s not many people’s idea of high end cuisine.
I’m pretty sure it’s a Canadian tradition and many parts of the States don’t know about it either. It’s, well, OK but not exactly bubble and squeak.
I’m assuming it’s Kraft brand macaroni and cheese in a box. A staple of the kid diet.
That it is. Here in the States the blue box used to be labeled “Kraft Macaroni and Cheese Dinner” (I for one am guilty of eating an entire box as my dinner, so truth in advertising I suppose). At some point they dropped the “Dinner” and now it just says “Kraft mac & cheese”. Not sure if the Canadian version followed suit.
Nope, still Kraft Dinner up there. Beauty, eh?
JJ’s awesome article reminds me of one of my favorite vinyl record trivia questions:
“How many grooves are on an average 45 RPM record?”
I have no idea. As its a 45 I’m gonna go with it being 45 by some quirk of coincidence. It’s never crossed my mind before so I don’t even know if that’s a ridiculous answer!
no… Anyone? Anyone?
Ordinarily, one per side. 🙂
Correct! One continuous groove!
Curses mt!!
So, 45 was a ridiculous answer. Note to self to think before I fall for anymore trick questions.
No, we thank you for playing. In fact, you’ve won the consolation prize:
https://www.insider.com/british-foodie-tries-american-mac-and-cheese-kraft-review-2022-5
And always remember, groove is in the heart.
OK, JJ, what are “mug-shot pasta sachets?”
An affront to every Italian 😁
There’s a hardcore Beatles Youtube channel called Parlophone Records, and their videos frequently use coded info in the inner grooves to figure out who, when, and where a particular album was cut, so you know which master tapes that pressing came from. It’s really interesting, if super geeky, stuff.
By default, I only have three surviving albums: Eden Alley– Timbuk 3, Babble– That Petrol Emotion, and In a Nutshell– Orange Juice.
Disappointingly, no secret messages.
Just like everybody else, I didn’t know this was a thing.
Arguably, Substance is New Order’s best album. I like the remixes for “The Perfect Kiss”, “Bizarre Love Triangle”, and the reimagining of “Subculture”.
Side One: I
Side Two: Should
Side Three: Be
Side Four: The Singer, PH
Sold off most of my vinyl years ago, but I do remember being delighted back in 1986 when I bought my copy of that Weird Al debut LP and found the messages JJ noted above. I seem to remember finding a message on a 45 at some point vin the ’80s, but at this point couldn’t tell you who or what it was.