Rock of All Ages. And it Don’t Get Better Than This.

In a land and time far removed from today, before we cared about pandemics and masks and max teleworking and quarantines, an announcement was made in December of 2019 that made yours truly giddy beyond belief:

Def Leppard had announced that not only were they doing another summer tour in 2020, but they were bringing along Motley Crue, Poison, and Joan Jett for the ride as well. I think I actually screamed out loud when I heard them announce it on DC’s Alt Rock station. “Are you friggin’ kidding me???!!!” How fantabulous would that be to my inner hair metal/glam metal pre-teen Dutch?? I mean, damn.

Shortly after the announcement our team from work had our Christmas lunch. I remember my boss made some comment that tied to it (well probably not, I just decided it did). So I shrieked at the guys – DUDE! (Because everyone, collectively, including my bosses, are Dudes in my world). “Did y’all hear about the Def Lep/Motley Crue Stadium Tour they just announced for Nats Park next summer???? OMG, I am so there.”

Then 2020 went to pot.

And 2021 followed suit.

I had given up hoping that Tour would actually happen – the window of opportunity had passed. It was quite deflating to acknowledge, too.

My peak music loving years fell around the ages of 12 to 16. This was middle school and high school years, from 1986-1990. Our school in Southeast PA was total Hair Metal High (and we used the term “Hair Metal” lovingly). You name any hard rock band. They were represented by a backpack patch, or doodle, or denim jacket logo by some percentage of the student population.

AC/DC, Van Halen, Bon Jovi, Ozzy, Guns N Roses, Motley Crue, Poison, Cinderella, Judas Priest, Metallica, Def Leppard...

The guys in school perfected their mullets, while most of the girls perfected the Jersey Mall Chick look. (Feathered, and hair sprayed to the max up front, whatever couldn’t be reached was left flat in back. The bigger and higher the bangs, the better. No, I was not one of those chicks – way too much effort).

Part of the reason Hair Metal was so massive in our area was because several of the bands were from the Philly region. They, along with that genre, got heavy rotation on local radio. One particular band from just a 40 minute drive down the road was one of the biggest of the era: Poison. The fact these guys from Harrisburg – our boring-ass state capital city – made it big on the hard rock scene was huge for us. Honestly. They may have been viewed as a joke elsewhere, but they were totally legit for us in our high school.

Hard Rock music has made up an integral part of my musical blood, and has always fed me and made me feel happy. Especially from those bands of that era.

So, earlier this year, when they announced The Stadium Tour was back on and ready to roll for the summer, I was sooo ready. Here was a chance to watch 3 of the greatest bands from that era, with the baddest of badass rock chicks to have ever walked this earth joining in the fun. It’s finally happening!

But this was only half of my excitement.

The other half was just as personal a reason though. This was going to be my first major concert I’d attended since I had gotten my depression under control. It was the last major concert way back in 2015 that woke me up to the reality of my condition. In fact, the last time I saw Duran Duran in concert. I did not recognize the person who was attending that show. And it was quite unnerving to have that realization to say the least.

A story for another time perhaps.

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No doubt: I was ready for this Stadium Tour this year. The anticipation helped me feel alive again, and it was invigorating.

I decided against going to the DC show. I could foresee it becoming a logistical mess if I took the subway. Driving into the city? Why should I have to pay $40 for the privilege of parking there? Yeah, pass.

Turned out to be a good call. A horrible rainstorm blew through the region that night. Def Lep cut their set short and the Crue would up waiting out the 90 minute lightning delay, only to have a half empty stadium awaiting them. The last Metro train for the evening had already departed, so I instead chose to make the 2+ hour drive to Hershey, PA and gift myself with a little vacation.

It would be my first time back to Central PA in literally 20 years, since my 10 year High School reunion. So it was a homecoming for me as well.

July 12 could not come soon enough.

The anticipation of awaiting the opportunity to primal scream and shout, air drum like a damn fool, and most importantly, headbang for 6 1/2 hours was desperately craved. It did NOT disappoint. No matter the amount of Australian Dream pain cream I had to put on my joints afterwards, ’cause I am too old for this – it was soooo worth it.

For those unfamiliar with Hershey, it literally is Chocolate Town, on the Western edge of the Pennsylvania Dutch Country (a very particular culture of original German [‘Deutsch’] settlers, and the reason why part of my screen name is ‘dutch’).

When Milton Hershey first created his chocolate empire in the early 1900’s in the scenic rolling hills of Central Pennsylvania (so chosen simply because it was a smart business move – ready and constant supply of fresh milk from the local dairy farmers), he had this vision of a utopian life for his factory workers.

Everything his workers could want or need would be provided in the company town he would construct. For the most part, it was a successful endeavor. (See: The History Channel’s ‘Men That Built America’ episode on Milton Hershey) So along with housing, parks and schools, thought was put into keeping the entire family happy with entertainment options. In time, the Hersheypark Amusement Park was born.

Hersheypark was THE local theme park for us as kids. My dad’s company would have their summer company picnics there. Occasional school field trips over the years, friends birthday parties – this was our home theme park.

Back when height requirements were merely suggestions, I took my first ever roller coaster ride at the age of about 4 on Hershey’s Sooper Dooper Looper. It was one of the first roller coasters in the Mid Atlantic to have a 360 loop. I distinctly remember seeing nothing on my first ride because the G-forces shoved my head into my lap around the loop. My dad was laughing hysterically next to me trying to get my head back up against the seat back. Had to learn it somehow!!

So I was ready for the next ride, which was immediately after we got off the first trip. I went yammering on about wanting to go again. That time, I was able to see everything through the loop. And BabyDutch became BabyThrillSeekerDutch.

In addition to the theme park and adjacent zoo, two major venues were also built for the community – the Arena, and the Stadium. Both have been there about 80 years now, next to each other just outside the park’s main gate. Outside of Philadelphia and Pittsburgh, Hershey had the only other full size arena in the entire state. Folks at my high school would eagerly wait for concert announcements through Hershey in the 80s, since it was immensely closer and easier to get to than Philly.

The Arena held about 7,500 and was originally built to be the home ice for the Hershey Bears of the American Hockey League. (Fun fact – the Bears are the oldest team in the AHL, and merely moved a half mile across the parking lot to a newer, larger arena about 20 years ago) So, it’s really not that strange for major concert tours to stop in the little town of Hershey after all!

As you can probably tell by now, I was pretty hyped to be having my own homecoming along with Poison.

And boy oh boy, the festival did not disappoint. Because let’s face it, seven hours of hard rock music is a festival, not just a concert. With a lot of fishnets, tattoos, cleavage, and vintage hard rock band t shirts. And with a lot of Crocs too, cause, you know, the main demographic of the attendees are more sensible now in choice of footwear, chronic back pain and creaky joints and all.

I roughly calculated that for every 10 vintage Def Lep shirts I saw folks wearing, I saw:

• seven Motley Crue shirts
• maybe three Poison shirts
• and one Joan Jett…

…with random Van Halen, Guns n Roses, even Motorhead in the mix. Not counting all the Stadium Tour ’22 shirts ($50 each! Are all tour shirts that much these days? Holy crap!)

The gates officially opened at 4:30. A group, Classless Act, kicked things off at 3:45 for the early birds. I started snaking my way to a parking spot around 3:30, savoring the aromatic BBQ grill food wafting in the car from all the tailgaters that had arrived hours before. They were treating the day like a lead up to a Penn State college football game.

Then the clouds rolled in. By about 4 it just unloaded torrential rain, with significant lightning, and I’m like, noooooo! But, by the time I finally snagged a parking spot around 4:10, the storm had passed, and the sky was already clearing.

So, feeling pretty good that I might get to my seat by the time Joan Jett was scheduled to start at 4:30, I set off for the Stadium. Keep in mind, Hersheypark is open for the day as well, so in addition to 40,000 concert goers, you have the regular mass of tourists heading into the theme park entrance gate about 500 yards from the stadium.

So I go with the flow, get up to the gate. Only then does it dawn on me: there’s a line waiting to get in the stadium. I start walking back towards where I just came from to find the end of the line.

And keep going.

And keep going.

I think I may have wound up cutting in line eventually. I didn’t mean to but it seemed like that was where the movement stopped for the line! Anyway, I looked it up on Google Maps once I got home. That line extended at least .6 miles back through the parking lot.

Why so long? Well, for one, Hershey Stadium only allows entrance and exit via the south end zone. Second, because there was still lightning in the area, they ceased entry for about 30 minutes. This was according to a staff member rolling down the line in his golf cart. They had pulled Classless Act, off the stage in mid-set. But as we’re still standing in the same spot we had been in for 20 minutes, we hear and see Joan Jett’s set start right on time at 4:30. So we missed her intro movie, Cherry Bomb, and one other tune.

But then – [cue angel chorus] – the line starts moving, and moving fast. The group in front of me sneaked up the side, waving me along with them. We bypassed half the people in front of us. We reached the first bank of security screeners, and everyone is bunched up like sheep at these ten gates. Stadium staff were waving frantically at people to keep moving. I couldn’t hear a word they were saying. I went up to one and was like – okay, what in the world are you actually saying?! The staffer says, “Keep going. We’ve got over 50 security gates set up, and there is no line for the ones at the far end.”

Sure enough, walked right through and was in my seat by the time Joan started her next song. NOW I could finally start to enjoy the show!

“So what,” some may be saying by this point, “that’s boring, who cares about parking and waiting in line?”

Well, it’s worth mentioning because of what was missing:

Animosity, impatience, and hostility.

I’ve become so jaded by the pushy me-first attitude that is so prevalent from urban and suburban residents. I was actually shocked how the thousands of people around me were just completely nonplussed by everything. No obnoxious car honking waiting on the outer road to get into the lot. No riding the bumper of the car in front of you to keep the guy in the next lane from merging because how dare they get in front of YOU. No cussing at pedestrians for daring to cross the lot, no one bitching how they got soaked in the rain.

The general attitude about standing in an unmoving line for 30 minutes just meant: More time to enjoy some beers before heading in. It was just so refreshing to be surrounded by such chillness and zen. Something I took for granted growing up, and hadn’t experienced in the 30 years since moving away from that region.

That was another warm fuzzy/ inner smile moment of “it’s good to be home” for me.

Now, on with the show!!

Joan Jett still sounds like she’s 22, her voice is just as fantastic today as it ever was. And she still looks like she could kick any guys ass in that stadium who dared to disrespect her. I think her set was 45 minutes total. Easily the biggest crowd pleaser was Bad Reputation, with I Hate Myself For Loving You a close second.

It was just so awesome to see she’s still true to herself and doing what she loves well into her 60s. I actually said to myself, “I hope I’m still half as badass as she is at that age.” Shoot, I’d like to be half as badass as she is at my age now…

Then we got a half hour or so break before the local-kids-done-good Poison got their stage set up. I don’t know how many of you recall the fabulous post over at the mothership our friend jnagle did last year. It was about his interactions with Bret Michaels. I highly suggest reading it if you didn’t.

I don’t doubt for one second that Bret Michaels is that personable of a guy naturally. It’s no act. I was surprised he wasn’t doing cartwheels across the stage. He was so damn giddy to be playing for his hometown crowd.

Some had heard on local radio that the members of Poison from the area had hooked up a ton of family and friends with tickets. Bret name checked his and Rikki Rocket’s alma mater, Mechanicsburg High School, which was maybe 20 miles from the stadium. He mentioned how his first ever concert that he attended was ‘right there in Hershey Arena’, waving towards the south endzone towards the Arena next door. And he mentioned he got the biggest kick out of seeing all the tailgaters out in the lot as they were arriving at the stadium.

Pretty sure he makes the same statement every show to thank the military vets, since his dad and sisters are veterans. But this time Bret paused to add how his dad’s final resting place is at the National Cemetery literally 10 miles up the road from Hershey, and how he knows his dad’s kicking back and enjoying a cold one looking down watching the show that night. Pretty hearty cheer from the crowd for his dad, which was really awesome.

I’ve seen other reviews this summer that commented on Bret’s limited singing ability these days, but I’m not sure what they were talking about. Unless they were just confusing Bret with Vince Neil? Because Bret sounded fine to me. No straining for any notes or anything. The guys in the band were great. CC Deville had a nice guitar solo moment while the other guys took a breather and incorporated Eddie Van Halen’s “Eruption” into it, much to the crowd’s delight.

Rikki got his own drum solo showcase as well to give the other guys a break.

They got plenty of songs in, though, their entire set was just over an hour long. The Drunken Backyard BBQ Karaoke sing along to Every Rose Has Its Thorn was fantastic. Their final song, Nothin’ But a Good Time, had the entire stadium up and dancing. Bret obviously loves what he does, and does not take for granted the gift of still being able to perform and do what he loves into his 60’s. It’s ridiculously infectious for the audience. In the immortal words of our gracious host mt, “good on him.”

So, next half hour break, we wait for the Crue roadies to set up their stage. This was was no simple task, because Crue has quite the setup. The break provided folks the opportunity to grab food. It was around 7pm by this point. More drinks; surprisingly, not much beer in our section. Twisted Ice Tea and Hard Seltzers were the prevalent alcoholic drinks of choice.

As I’m sitting there cursing everyone else hogging the 5G cell network and blocking me from texting pictures out, I pick up on this conversation behind me:

“I love your tattoo on your chest, where’d you get it?”

“I’ve been wanting a good black-ink only tattoo for awhile but I can’t find the right artist.”

The two women proceed to share tattoo stories, piercing stories (the nipple piercing was not advised, fyi), freaking out their moms back in the 80’s, and going to these shows back in the day.

And then the one makes a comment: “yeah, my 30 year-old daughter is acting like my mom did now, she was all worried about me coming here tonight!”

I could not stop giggling to myself while listening to them and thinking, I LOVE this country. This conversation sums up how great this crowd is, I swear…

A little after 7:30, Motley Crue starts up with their set. The Stadium Tour was billed as Crue and Def Lep co-headlining, alternating nights to close. Hershey had Def Lep as the closer, which I was quite happy about, since they were the primary attraction for me anyway.

I felt sooooo bad for Vince Neil, he totally looked like he wanted to be done 10 years ago. He was wiped out by the third song, and every time he got tired on a line he just held the mic stand out to the crowd to let us sing it. I can’t knock him for it, he was trying his best.

But the cameras knew that he wasn’t what the crowd wanted to see on the big screens. For their entire 90 minute set, the vast majority of the time all we saw was the 3 backup singer/dancers Nasty Habits, and Tommy Lee on drums.

No one has ever been so animated on drums as Tommy, he’s still got the mad scientist- Tasmanian Devil with 8 appendages mindset behind the kit. And this was after he broke 4 ribs last month right before the tour kicked off!! Un-friggin-real.

Nikki Sixx was shown only a bit more often on the screens than Vince. As always, if you didn’t know any better, you’d have forgotten they even had a guitar player. Mick Mars would make brief appearances every now and then on the screens, totally looking like Nosferatu. But mostly the camera just focused on close-ups of his guitar playing.

But they sure loved the dancers!

Lots of different stage platforms all over for them to climb/dance/writhe/strut on, and to be honest, they truly helped make it a Motley Crue show. Again, I’d read other reviews from earlier shows and the reviewers were bending over backwards to bemoan the dancers and their gyrations. [Eyeroll]. It’s all well and good in the post Me-Too era for folks to be more mindful, but it’s sad how extreme some feel the need to take it. Not all women get bent out of shape (no pun intended) and think all men are pigs for wanting to ogle hot chicks in skimpy outfits. And men should not feel so castrated to emphatically deny they want to ogle hot chicks in skimpy outfits, and automatically cry disrespect and demeaning behavior.

Those girls are LOVIN’ it. The women in the crowd love that the girls love it, and cheer them on. THERE’S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!! Sometimes you gotta just read the crowd and recognize how the locals handle things. This Hard Rock loving demographic is well aware it’s all in good fun. Sure, there’s a small percentage of folks who go too far and are legit harassing, just like there’s a small percentage of rotten corrupt police, and so on, and so on. Don’t diminish the legitimacy of the other 98% of any particular group; they’re not doing anything wrong.

Just as there was nothing wrong with Tommy Lee strolling out on the front of the stage to chat up the crowd midway through their set, lamenting on how he wasn’t getting to see enough boobage (my term, not his). Plenty of women up by the stage obliged, making Tommy much happier, and giving the camera guys an eyeful to display for the crowd on the big screens. As the crowd roared their appreciation, the guy in his late 50s sitting in front of me with his Soccer Mom wife and their 2 very sensible friends who brought stadium seats with them to sit in suddenly stands up, lifts his shirt and screams “here’s some titties for ya Tommy, whooooooo!”

As he continues hollering he turns around to our section to show off his dad bod, delighting all of us to no end. And I could not stop laughing.

Motley Crue had a nice set list, kicking everything off with Wild Side, followed by Shout at the Devil. Unfortunately, Live Wire became a muddled mess. I couldn’t tell if it was the stadium acoustics causing an echo. Maybe the bass was cranked too loud, or Tommy just couldn’t keep up with himself. Or the sound guys left an extra drum track in the mix to compensate for Tommy’s injury, just in case.

It was such a bummer cause it’s my favorite Crue song to air drum to. I was an air drumming fool throughout the show. The guy two seats down from me was doing air guitar most of the show, but I just naturally always go to air drums. Thankfully I had enough space to do so pretty freely, headbanging away in time. It felt fantastic to feel that free and alive again; I didn’t need any alcohol encouragement even. My mentality was: I’m here to enjoy myself, these people don’t know who I am and I’ll never see them again. I am totally rocking out and I don’t give a crap what anybody thinks.

Just what the doctor ordered…. Dr. Feelgood!

Ah, I kill me! [Collective groan from the crowd] But yeah, it had been ages since I mentally felt that cathartic high from adrenaline, and I savored every second. Don’t know what ya got, till it’s gone (yes, I know, that was Cinderella…!)

The Crue wrapped up with Kickstart My Heart, just as the sun was setting with the most amazingly colorful sunset I’d seen in years, and it was just AWESOME.

[The storm front that had blown through earlier and was now seriously impacting DC rush hour, based on the avalanche of email notices I was getting. The rapidly stacking delays helped to contribute to a perfect atmospheric mix for a stunning sunset.}

I didn’t realize until that moment that hearing Crue play Kickstart My Heart live, in person, was apparently a bucket list item for me. It was perfect . Mick, Nikki and Tommy did not disappoint, they sounded fantastic, even if the drums and bass were stepping on each other’s toes and sounding muddled at times. Vince managed to get enough shrieks in to remind us, yeah, that’s really Vince Neil singing. And I will say, I was very pleasantly surprised just how many people around me knew the words and were singing along to The Dirt, which was the newest song they did from the Netflix movie of the same name a few years back. Definitely watch it if you haven’t already; Motley Crue’s history is quite the tale.

One last half hour break to recuperate while they set up Def Lep’s stage. I wanted the show to go on another 6 hours, I was loving it so much. At least Def Lep gave us a 10 minute countdown until they started, so folks could do a final smoke/bathroom/drink run/food run. They kicked off their set with the opening track from their album Diamond Star Halos (which came out a couple months ago), Take What You Want.

And it was perfect, just a perfect addition to their live catalog of Arena Rock Anthems. I actually really enjoy Diamond Star Halos , they wound up also playing Kick and This Guitar (which is quite the gorgeous song), and it was great to see just how many other people in the crowd knew the new songs as well and were singing along with them.

Of the bands on the bill, Def Lep is far and away the most polished live act. Honestly, these guys are probably one of the greatest live acts out there. Joe Elliott still sounds phenomenal, which is astounding considering the range of acrobatic shrieks and screams he committed to 40+ years ago on some of these songs.

The guys in the band are so tight it’s like they share one brain. They hardly ever vary in how they’ve played their songs live for years, and yet it still sounds fresh every time I listen to a live set of theirs. It’s a true gift that few acts are able to pull off, but huge credit goes to the band for their obvious delight in getting to perform these songs still.

C’mon, you got Rick Allen grinning like a kid on his first visit to Disney for the entire show behind his drum kit. It’s just infectious! And extra bonus – as Joe was introducing the band members later on in the show, he stated how it was 40 years to the day of Phil Collen becoming an official member of the band, giving him a big ol’ bear hug, and Phil actually appeared to be humbled by the adoration from the crowd recognizing that anniversary.

The second track they played was Let it Go, a lovely little dirty, raunchy slice of Rock = Sex from the High n Dry album, and also a nice surprise as most of the other shows so far on the tour have had their new song Fire it Up in the second slot Every song was met with immediate recognition from the opening chord, and while I love all of them (except for Two Steps Behind, ugh, find another song to catch a breather on guys, please!), there’s one song that is the ultimate pinnacle of what makes a live concert experience so amazing.

Switch 625.

Good Lord, I love hearing that banger live. It always follows Bringin’ On the Heartbreak, just as it does on the High n’ Dry album. I hear those opening notes of Bringing on the Heartbreak, and it becomes aural foreplay for me, knowing what’s coming in about 4 minutes.

For those unfamiliar with Switch 625, it’s an instrumental centered on Steve Clark’s ridiculously awesome guitar solo. Steve passed away in 1991, and the band has taken what they probably consider a nightly memorial to him and made it astronomically, insanely better. The bass thunders mightily with Sav getting in copious amounts of single-handed playing, drums go boom like Rick is trying to bust every drum head on his kit, and then you’ve got Phil Collen and Vivian Campbell taking center stage trading off on sick guitar licks like a perfect hard rock tango. It’s just absolute live stadium rock perfection.

…ShallowDutch would like the opportunity to interject at this time and take a moment to say – Phil Collen is the epitome of a rock guitar god.

SweetBabyJesus is that man amazing to watch. Memo to Def Leppard’s camp – can you put out a blu-ray that gives me the option to do nothing but watch Phil for the ENTIRE show??!! He’s everything the perfect musician should be for me – his playing mesmerizes me, he is just so good at being one with his guitar and he obviously LovesLovesLOVES playing it.

He is basically using his guitar to sing, on top of his fantastic harmonies with Joe and the others; and his dedication to martial arts and a vegan diet has him looking better than 99.9% of guys a third his age. Damn straight he’s gonna always play shirtless to show that work of art off, and God Bless him for it! Then he’s working up a sweat, and his perfect forearms are shredding away at his guitar with all the veins bulging in his hands and forearms, and ShallowDutch has a massive thing about guy’s forearms which MrDutch is well aware of and just rolls his eyes at, and then…and then……

Sorry, where was I? Why is it so warm in here suddenly?

Damn hot flashes (convenient excuse these days, ha!). And for the record, Viv is certainly no slouch either; he’s definitely got some rockin’ forearms also.

Ah yes. Def Leppard rocks.

They rock hard. And they still sound AH-MAY-ZING. The whole stage show and lighting spectacle is just a nice bonus, but it’s still top notch. The guys know how to give their audience a fantastic performance. Frontmen don’t get much better than Joe Elliott, looking ever so dapper in his silver locks these days. Check out their final sprint of songs on their set list:

• Rocket
• Bringin’ on the Heartbreak
• Switch 625
• Hysteria (if you recall from my previous discussion about The Perfect Song, “Hysteria” is both my all time favorite song and premiere Perfect Song)
• Pour Some Sugar on Me
• Rock of Ages
• Photograph

There’s doozies, there’s bangers….. and then there’s that lineup of sheer ecstasy. So, yeah, they were okay. [Evil giggle]

As everyone filed out in a giddy sea of nostalgic rush, I encountered one poor kid laying on his back virtually passed out with his buddy over him telling him to just wait it out a bit. It occurred to me what was missing the previous 7 hours – drunken buffoonery.

This was a crowd who’s average age was about 57 and who’s hard drinking days were long behind them. This crowd had plenty of experience and years to learn what their limits were, as opposed to how they were 35 years ago when they felt compelled to drink like that kid staring at the full moon on his back outside the Stadium after the show.

Yet another really refreshing realization how enjoyable events like that can be.

Let me tell ya, depression is no joke.

And it was fantastic to feel that kind of “I Love Life!” mentality a good live show can put me in after a dark decade.

And that was just a warm up for the Duran Duran show next month I’ve got front row for…

I’d love to hear from y’all. What is it specifically about live concerts that brings you back to them, time and time again?

Does it need to be a festival setting? Is it a certain artist, or the venue? (Those of you in Denver, I would completely understand if you just went to Red Rocks for the experience routinely, no matter the act!)

Or are you like me? And just want to dance like a damn fool while your ribcage registers an 8.6 on the seismic scale?

I love Rock and Roll.

Long live Rock and Roll.